(https://i.imgur.com/pkfQvQL.png)
Studio: Universal Studios
Release Date: 4/1/2025
Rating: R
Film Grade: D
The Story: Marvin Gable is a successful real estate agent in the greater Milwaukee area, who is shocked to find someone defacing his promotional signs. Shortly after, a mysterious letter shows up at his office, signaling the return of someone from his past. A past he thought he had left behind.
My Take: Love Hurts is an unusual combination of action, romance, and comedy that fails on all counts. The paper-thin plot exists solely to string together various action sequences. You know the type, let’s put character A in setting B, facing off against villains B and C, using objects X, Y, and Z, which can always be found in previous element A. It’s the Mad Libs version of movie scripting. It’s also filled with completely unnecessary voice-overs that spell out what you’ve just seen in either the present or the flashback sequences. There is no subtlety to be found.
Ke Huy Quan makes a welcome return to the screen, following his performance in Everything Everywhere All at Once, playing the seemingly everyman. Ever affable and good-natured, it’s that aspect of Marvin that was the most enjoyable, but it isn’t long before the movie reveals his past and that’s when it starts to fall apart. I’ll give Quan a ton of credit here, as the extras reveal just how much work he put into training for the role, but it’s all wasted in a shallow script.
This is the directing debut for Jonathan Eusebio, who previously worked as a stunt director for the John Wick series and various Marvel movies, along with many others. Watching this, it’s evident where his heart lies, as it’s the only element that is given any attention in the film. The other supporting roles are as generic as can be, with performances that range from Easter ham worthy to bland sugar cookie. That extends to the stunt casting of Marshawn Lynch and Drew Scott, in what might have been clever roles but only turn into forgettable appearances.
In something that may not be of any interest to readers outside of the upper Midwest, if filmmakers are going to set (but not shoot) a movie in Milwaukee, they should be expected to do at least a modicum of research. The movie takes place around Valentine’s Day, yet the grass is green, trees have leaves, there’s no snow to be seen, and people walk around in light jackets. The real estate price of the featured home is easily two to three times what the actual selling price would be. One has to wonder why the city was chosen, as it appears that it had no part in the script at all, but the contrast of what’s shown on screen with reality only hurts any kind of authenticity there is to the story. At least they got the city’s area code right.
Visuals: The digitally captured image is colorful, even in dark and dimly lit environments. There are some weird stuttering effects during one of the fight scenes that was mildly distracting, and looked like it might have been the result of awkward digital manipulation. It was a good presentation for this kind of lower-budget movie, but there wasn’t anything groundbreaking to be found. The rental did not come with a Blu-ray copy, so I wasn’t able to compare discs.
Audio: The Atmos soundtrack featured some use of the tops, such as when a garage door opens or some rain falls on a car’s rooftop, but negligible use of wides. There’s a good amount of bass, especially with punches and engine growls. Not a bad effort for this kind of movie. The musical score is a mixture of action cues, pop songs, and some
Asian influences that work well enough with the material.
Special Features: There’s a fairly extensive amount of behind-the-scenes stuff in here. The alternate ending and extra scenes weren’t worth including.
- Alternate Ending
- Deleted and Extended Scenes
- The Ke to Gable
- The Heart of Love Hurts
- Stunts Hurt
Final Verdict: I was excited to see Ke Huy Quan make a return to the big screen, bringing back that enthusiasm and bright nature that we saw him add to films decades ago, but this wasn’t the right vehicle for him. Or for anybody. He was a good fit for the realtor, and it’s sad that the movie left me wanting to see more of him in that role rather than the secretive action-based background that the story is built around. He deserves better opportunities than this.
The film includes all of the ingredients needed for a wild action movie, but there’s no binder to hold them together. The romantic angle is never developed to the point where it feels believable. The downright mean-spirited nature of some events completely negates any comedic aspects of the script. And the little humor that is shown is so broad that it can’t even produce a chuckle. Drawing facial hair on Marvin’s ubiquitous signage is supposed make us laugh? That kind of humor might work on young kids, but this is an R rated film.
The song that kept playing through my head while watching this was Love Stinks, so much so that I accidentally used that as the title of this review when sitting down to write it. It’s hard to recommend this to anyone other than the most devoted Quan fans, but viewers might find something in it to enjoy when looking to waste around 90 minutes on a streaming service diversion.
Corny Quote: “I’m in the middle of high intensity yoga. Can you give me a minute?”
Here’s the trailer that gives away almost all of the movie. Don’t watch if you have any level of interest.
https://youtu.be/Sagi-UawbVI
My Review System:
JVC DLA-RS3100 4K Ultra High-Definition Front Projector
Elite Screens Sable Frame B2 117” Width with Infinitely Variable Height
Monolith by Monoprice HTP-1 16 Channel Processor with Dirac Live
Monolith by Monoprice 7x200 Watts Amp
Monolith by Monoprice 3x200 Watts + 6x100 Watts Amp
JBL Studio 590 for Left, Center, Right, Wides, and Rears
JBL Studio 580 for Side Surrounds
JBL Studio SCS 8 for Tops
JTR Captivator 1400 Subwoofer X 4
Panasonic DP-UB420 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray Player
Oppo BDP-93
NVIDIA Shield Android TV - 4K
Xbox One X
HTPC Running madVR (work in progress)
Remote: URC MX-780
Mini DSP 2X4 HD controlling all subwoofers
APC S15 Power Conditioner with Battery Backup